Politically Obsessed

  Has anybody noticed my last 2 posts are about UK elevtions/voting? No I havn't become completely obsessed about politics, that's just how long it's been since I posted. Not that my life's been boring, oh trust me it's not, but being a full time adult/part time student is exhausting. Plus I'm trying to get my life together and new graduate my age knows how more difficultly that's done than said.

Should We Stay Or Should We Go?

  Nothing says I'm back with a bang than writing on this historic day the UK took to the polls to vote whether we'd remain slaves or finally give David Cameron and the establishment the good kick up the backside we all know they deserve, AKA should the UK leave on remain in the EU. As everybody in Britain knows, for the last 4 months we have had non-stop bickering between Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage, David Cameron and others, and I don't know about you all but I actually tuned out after the first week. No particular reason, I just got bored of watching everyone being called a liar.

  Now as many of you know, I often have a lot to say, in fact you'll be hard pressed to find a topic I don't have to give an opinion on. Yet when it came to Remain vs Leave (which was also given the horrendous term "Brexit", I mean seriously I hope whoever came up with that lost their job), I literally found myself speechless. It's the first time I've not been able to make a decision, and I think the biggest problem was I had no idea who to trust, I mean personally I feel this referendum is a Lose-Lose situation. Obviously Brussels has way too much power and a say in what goes on in this country, and I'm totally against the abuse of free movement by certain European countries who I'll refrain from naming. However, as somebody pointed out on Facebook last night, sticking with the EU means I can buy hairdryers powerful enough to actually dry my hair, and the price of my Nando's won't rise, and as a respectable British citizen, I do love my damn Nando's. 

  I only made my decision when walking to the polling station this afternoon. What I really hate about the way the Leave campaign was run is they let Farage hijack it for his racist propaganda, and walking to that polling station today in Newtown, Birmingham, I had what you could call an epiphany. Farage constantly preaches that immigrants do not have the best interests of this country at heart, and they come only to take and never to give back, however what I saw today was not the case. Looking around the school hall I saw almost every other person who was there to vote was at some point an immigrant or probably had family who are immigrants. This reminded me that in fact I come from a family of immigrants, and while I'm not close to my grandparents I know that when they came to this country they worked hard for a living, and completely contradict the poison people like Farage and the EDL tries to spread. I actually heard a brilliant quote the day before yesterday, which went something like "we should set an example to the next generation that it is better to work through problems as part of a team than going solo", and it's probably the only statement made during this campaign that I've agreed with.

  Want to know who said it?

  David Beckham, that's who. Just think about that. All these politicians demanding my attention and yet the only person who was able to make me think was David Beckham. What has this country come to?

Every Vote Counts

  Unless you don't live in the UK or live under a rock, you'd know that today was the General Election. Most people I know in Birmingham (as in students) actually decided to not bother voting today, which i found really sad, especially as they're more likely to be hit hardest by the outcome of this election. So here are some reasons why I decided to vote today:

1) If I'm going to have to endure at least 3 months of politicians back stabbing, lying and leapfrogging over each other to get to Number 10, you can bet I'm going to vote on it. I did not sit here for weeks and listen to politicians whine and lie for nothing, I thought if it shut them up long enough I might as well do it.

2) I like to complain, everybody does. But what gives me the right to complain about the embarrassing way this country is run if I don't vote on it first. I hear a lot of students complaining about how things aren't fair at the moment, but the minute someone asks them to register to vote they suddenly all have something better to be doing with their time. 

3) It's my first time. Like all things new it's exciting the first time and I have to say I enjoyed feeling like a responsible adult when I went to the polling station, which by the way, is a mere 5 minutes walk from my flat and I still managed to get lost. And that was with a GPS and signposts.

4) I will do literally anything to keep out UKIP. Or Labour. Or any other party and idiot who is either racist, has no idea what they're on about or spent previous governments getting the country into insane debt or dragging it into wars that didn't need to be fought. No judgment, but yeah, we all know who didn't get my vote. And even though I'm just one person voting, at least I can look back on this and say I tried to make a difference. 

  Obviously I'm sure there are loads more reasons I could think of, but they're the first that come to mind. And that is why I decided to vote today. For those of you that haven't yet, polls were due to close in half an hour, and you just wasted half of that time left reading this blog. 

  And to all those politicians waiting to hear if they got their seats...

The Eyes Have It

  As some of you know, a couple of months ago I was admitted to hospital with suspected papilledema, also known as optic disc swelling. In other words, I was having eye problems. Well, after weeks of being subjected to an MRI, tedious field vision tests with even more tedious doctors, eyedrops, and a lot of blinding lights being flashed unceremoniously in my poor eyes, I am relieved to share with you that today my test results all came back as normal. My doctor told me that although my optic nerves did in fact look like they had been swollen previously, and still remained slightly abnormal, this was actually just the way I was made, and therefore didn't require any kind of treatment.

  Today my doctor also raised an important point I feel I need to share. I spent the New Year in Ghana, and while I was there I was taking the drug Doxycycline, as an anti malarial drug. In my naivety I opted to buy these drugs online without a prescription, as the nurse doing the rest of my vaccinations had advised me it would be cheaper to do so. However I wasn't aware until today that in high enough doses, Doxycycline can trigger the symptoms and pain I started experiencing with my eyes after taking the tablets, and while there's no way of knowing if it definitely was the cause of my problems, the timeline of events would suggest it played a part. Of course I felt like an idiot when my doctor explained this to me today. It can be really appealing to purchase these kind of drugs online as it's often much cheaper, but I learnt today how dangerous it can be to purchase drugs online or without a prescription, you don't actually know what or how much you need to take without one.

  Finally, I know a lot of the people who read this blog are close friends who have been concerned for me during this time, and I would like to take this opportunity to tell you guys that I am so grateful for the way you have kept me in your thoughts and prayers throughout, without your support I definitely would have had a Britney Spears meltdown by now. So thank you for keeping me sane and with a full head of hair, and please know I have so much love for each and every one of you!

xx

The NAKED Truth

Naked 2, eyeshadow palette

Now we get to the heavyweight of the brand, one of the renowned Naked palettes. This particular one is Naked 2, and any one from the range will set you back a hefty £38, so it's definitely an investment piece, and only if you're serious about eyeshadow. I bought this one on Black Friday last year, and in the short time I've had it I now swear by it. The palette is formed of 12 shades, oozes luxury, and while I'm usually sceptical of brushes that accompany eyeshadow palettes, this is the best brush I've ever owned for applying and blending. Just be careful to use the right end, I once dipped the blending end in Blackheart and it took me forever to clean it. The shades seem bottomless, and with these colours the combinations are endless. Every shade in here is able to compliment each other, and is perfect for those who shy away from the bolder colours in Urban Decay's range. Unfortunately I have to deduct a point as it seems Urban Decay marketed this with white girls in mind. For those of you with a darker complexion such as myself, I would advise you to always put on a white eyeshadow as a base before using these colours, otherwise they won't show up nearly as well! Unfortunately, this does negate the effects of some of the lighter shades in the palette. 8/10

I'm going to do a quick one line review of all the colours in here though, as there are so many. Bear in mind these reviews are all based on my skin tone Here we go:

Foxy- disappointing highlighter, but could be worse 4/10

Half Baked- slightly grainy, bold,makes a really good look on a night out 7/10

Bootycall- even more pointless than Foxy 1/10

Chopper- for those feeling a bit more daring 8/10

Tease- Not too bad when applied thickly, works well with YDK 7/10

Snakebite- You know my views on this :) 10/10

Suspect- good when used as a highlighter 8/10

Pistol- Gunmetal just with less glitter 7/10

Verse- again, good highlighter but can work as a main colour 8/10

YDK- darker version of Chopper, doesn't show up as well but a subtle look 8/10

Busted- I use this a lot as a transition colour between Snakebite and Blackheart 10/10

Blackheart- the ultimate black, necessity for a good smoky eye. A little goes a long way and heavy handed usage will result in being mistaken for a panda. Approach with caution, and not for the faint of heart 10/10 

Urban Decay- Review

  Calm down people, this hasn't morphed into a beauty blog, the apocalypse has yet to happen. However after my previous post I did feel inspired to do a formal review of the brand Urban Decay, mostly because I felt I was plugging their products a lot in said former post. 

  Ok, so where to start. Well nearly all (and by nearly I mean all but one) of the products I own from Urban Decay are eyeshadow, so I feel this ties in pretty neatly with todays posts. I'm basically going to just rate out of 10 and say why you should buy them. I also feel the need to add in a little disclaimer that anything said in this post is my personal opinion and does not reflect the views of the brand. Ok enough of the formal stuff, let's get to the real thing.

Long Lasting Primer Potion

You guys can read the caption, this is primer. For you males reading this, firstly I'm sorry. This is a girly post. Secondly, primer is what you put on your eyes before the colour goes on. Think of it as a base paint. This particular primer is the Long Lasting one from the range. It's probably the most expensive one I've every bought, and retails at £16 in Debenhams for 11ml. Honestly you don't need very much of it for each use, a little really does go a long way. It also prevents my make up from creasing throughout the day, and 9 times out of 10 I won't need to touch up my make up. It also takes less time to remove eye make up at the end of the day. 8/10

Left: Gunmetal, eyeshadow
Right: Snakebite, eyeshadow

  I'll review these one at a time. Gunmetal is actually in the original Naked Palette, but as I only wanted this colour it made more sense to buy it separately. Honestly I was disappointed in this colour when compared to other colours I have, it's too glittery for my liking and doesn't add to any of the other colours I've tried mixing it with. 5/10

  Snakebite is my personal favourite in the range. It's part of the Naked 2 Palette which I own (we'll get to that), but I use it so much I bought it separately too to pop in my bag when I'm out and about, rather than take the whole palette with me. It's an amazing colour and is perfect for when you want a smoky eye with a bit more colour to it. The name is also pretty cool. 10/10 

Also, both will set you back a hefty £14 each, making it not the most wallet friendly option, but I won't deduct points as every penny is worth it. 

All Nighter Make Up
Setting Spray

  This is the newest addition to my collection, the Long Lasting Make Up Setting Spray. This caught my eye over Christmas when I was with my flatmate helping her shop for some friends. It's £21 for 118ml at Debenhams, and slightly more expensive in Selfridges (I think, I may have misheard the woman selling it to me but I swear she said £27. Man I was robbed). I've only used it once but all indications point to it working. A criticism would be I felt a bit uncomfortable wearing what is essentially hairspray on my face, but it wasn't that sticky and my make up didn't need retouching during the day. The only other criticism is that it made it a bit harder taking off make up, but I guess that shows it's effective. 7/10 

The Golden Rules of Eyeshadow

  So I have this friend. I've known this friend since I was 15, and even though we go long periods of time not talking, when we get together we always have a laugh. However in recent months said friend has taken to wearing garish shades all over her eyelids. Now I'm not criticising wanting to use bright colours, in fact if you're one of those people then all power to you. However I do have an issue when you girls decide to just slap a colour on your eyes and go.

  Every girl should know that make up is an art. You can go ahead and think of your face as a canvas, but girls we are not practicing any of that modernism or surrealism stuff. I personally believe less is more, and advocate minimalism when possible. However, if you're daring enough to pick out a bright blue or baby pink eyeshadow, I must press upon you some serious advice. These aren't the only things you need to know, but it's a good start. So here goes.

Rimmel London, Glam'Eyes
Quad Eyeshadow (6.99 each)

1) Pick a colour/palette and stick to it- so you wake up in the morning and reach for the neon green sitting at the bottom of your make up bag. Don't be also reaching for the equally offensive shade of orange next to it! You're already going to be looking like a lime Starburst, why go confusing everyone! If any of you are confused, Rimmel and Revlon do some really good palettes where all the colours you need for a look are there in one set.

2) Always throw in a darker colour- and by dark I mean grey, black or a darker shade of your main colour. Don't be throwing a dark purple with a light green. The lightest colour should always be inwards, and fade outwards to a darker shade. Don't just use one colour only, it looks like you put no effort in.

Urban Decay, Long Lasting
Primer Potion (£16)

3) Primer- I cannot stress how important this is. Priming your eyes doesn't just set a foundation which keeps your make up set for longer. Primer is kinda the same shade as your skin, so I use it as a guideline once it's on to know how far up the eye lid I need to put the eyeshadow. Think of it as colouring inside the lines.

Urban Decay, Naked 2 (£39)

4) Don't be cheap- As I said earlier, make up is like art. If you're painting, you won't want to go to Asda when you could be getting your paint from Hobbycraft or a specialist art shop. So why do the same with your make up? Better quality brands may be more expensive, but consider them an investment. Also, read reviews before you buy. It will save you a lot of time and money. My go to brand is Urban Decay, extremely pricey (one colour sets you back £14) but superior in quality and long lasting. The shades I use personally aren't the brightest, but if you visit their website they have all kinds of crazy colours.

Left: Urban Decay, Gunmetal (£14)
Right: Urban Decay, Snakebite (£14)

5) The Golden Rule, Blending- Great so you managed to fit all your colours on, now what? You can't be going out there looking like you have rainbows on your lids. Blending is my number one rule. I remember being reluctant at first because I was scared all the colours would blur into one, but it did nothing of the kind. Blending smoothes it all out and you see one colour blend seamlessly into the next. If I can see a definitive line in your handiwork, it's not on.

Next Stop, China

  Recently I decided that I want to be a teacher. I know, how original of me. But being myself, it wouldn't be right of me to follow the crowd and end up in a depressing UK school full of rebellious adolescents trying to "find themselves". Which is just as well as at 2am this morning I was offered a 5 month internship teaching English in Southern China, starting in September this year. Yangjiang to be exact. Yeah I never heard of it either, but I Googled it (as you do), and discovered it's a lovely little city right on the southern coast of China. 

  Anyway, I digress. To keep it short and sweet, it's an amazing opportunity so I accepted it without hesitating. I mean, if somebody is going to throw my dream job my way and mix in free food, accommodation and $550 USD a month, I'd be crazy to pass it up. To be honest I was sold at the free food bit. So fingers crossed I get it and I'll be shipped off to China in 5 months :) 

Note to self: I may want to invest in one of these 

Ghana's Newest Volunteer

  For those of you who don't know me personally, I'm going to Ghana this summer to spend some time volunteering as an English teacher for a couple of weeks in a local school in Accra for underprivileged children. I'm extremely excited to take part as it's been something I've wanted to do for many years but have never had the courage to do up until now. To take part I'll need to fundraise first, so that's what I'll be doing a lot of from now up until I go. 

 Instead of writing a really long post about it though, I'm just going to give you guys the link to a website where I've set up a page to fundraise for my trip. Said link will be posted at the bottom of this post. Even if you aren't able to donate I'd love it if you are able to take some time to read about what I'll be doing during my time there, as it's something I'm really happy to be a part of :) .

http://www.gofundme.com/ninasvolunteering

You Know You Love Me, XOXO

  Gossip Girl fans out there will immediately recognise this title as being the catchphrase of the show. A lot of my friends bang on a lot about Gossip Girl. It may have ended a couple of years ago but that doesn't mean it's fan base isn't still going strong. It doesn't help that Netflix streams all 6 seasons making it accessible for whoever. Anyway, I finally bowed to peer pressure this week and started watching it during my depressive state *see above post* . So far I'm halfway through season 2, and have come to the conclusion that many of the characters... Are dumb.

  There's one particular episode where all the characters (who are all spoilt rich brats btw) head off to Yale to basically beg the Dean to offer them a college place. In this one episode we see one guy sashay his way into the secret society, another imitates the nerd nobody likes so people won't know he's really related to a prominent businessman who fled the country after being charged with fraud (do i hear #firstworldproblems anyone?), while the real nerdy guy chases around a girl to get a letter of recommendation. 

  You think this is bad, but it gets worse with the girls. The 2 socialites literally get into a cat fight for a coveted spot, and when one girl finally nabs an early acceptance into Yale, she turns it down to show how much she loves her friend. Somebody needs to sit her down and explain that there will be plenty of time to show some loving after she gets a college place, but right now is not the time to be taking a stand for bestie friendships everywhere.

  So yeah, aside from realising that these kids have waaaaaaayyy too much money, I was surprised that it's actually really easy to enjoy the show, once you get passed the increasingly ridiculous plot lines and superficial bitchiness that comes hand in hand with high school. However it's only been a season and a half and I'm already flagging. It's just one of those shows you can binge watch when you have nothing else going on with life.

  Also, how did it take them 6 seasons to work out who Gossip Girl was. I worked it out within the first episode, seriously people!

World's End

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but when life gets tough it’s hard to always feel like that’s the case. Recently I found out that I wouldn’t be able to graduate this year because there was an issue with my dissertation module. Apparently I missed a minor deadline, and because of that not only would I have to wait till next year to submit my dissertation, but my overall grade for the module would be capped at 40%. It was like a double slap to that face, and when I was told this by my head of year, you could hear the audible thud as my jaw hit the floor.

  For the next week I felt like my whole world had come crashing down. I didn’t go into uni, I hid away in my room not wanting to face the world. In my mind I had already accepted that my university dream was lying in tatters. I mean, this news meant that I would never achieve the 2:1 I had been so close to getting, and to have it snatched away just like that with 6 weeks to go till the end of my life as a student was soul-crushing. As an academic overachiever all my life, a 2:2 had never been in my life plan.

  In these situations it’s easy to become self absorbed and feel like you have nobody to turn to. I know I definitely felt like that for the first few days, even though I had people calling me constantly to make sure I was ok. It didn’t help matters that my best friend/flatmate had decided to remain emotionally MIA throughout the whole thing. Even though I know that’s just how she is as a person, I couldn’t help but feel hurt and resentful that she couldn’t even put an arm round me and tell me it wasn’t the end of the world. My poor boyfriend bore the brunt of my emotions and did his best to comfort me suggested I get out of the country for a couple of months to avoid the awkwardness of watching all my friends graduate while I was left behind, and believe me when I say I’m still tempted to take him up on the offer.

  The hardest bit for me was accepting this was obviously meant to be. I still can’t wrap my head around why this happened, but it’s times like this I remember that everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately I just don’t know what that is yet. So for now I’m going to continue trying to find that silver lining that I know is hiding somewhere in the storm clouds.

Dissertation Dread

  Going into 3rd year of uni I always knew this year was going to be tough. Because this is the year I've had to deal with the beast that is my dissertation. I always thought a dissertation would be more fun because you get to pick the topic and study something you really enjoy, but the reality is nothing like that. You actually end up hating the topic you've chosen, which for me in this case is the Internet. I know, who knew it was possible to hate the Internet, but there you have it. 

  I've also reached the stage many students reach at this time of year when they start to panic and count down the weeks till graduation, and then realising that there's SO much to do before they can graduate. So here's to 2 months of grumpiness and sleepless nights, it's times like this I was a big coffee drinker. 

Thoughts on the Alex Day (so called) "Scandal"

Greeting Internet!

  I've spent a lot of time this week deciding what my comeback post should be about, so many things have been happening since I've been gone, but trawling through YouTube this evening I saw a little video catch my eye that I felt was worth talking about.

  As most of the bloggersphere is aware, the hugely popular vlogger Alex Day had his star seriously tarnished earlier this year when he was accused by a number of girls of being sexually and emotionally manipulative in his relationships with them. Obviously there was a huge uproar on YouTube and Tumblr, and I'm pretty sure it even made the BBC news. Everyone, including myself was disgusted at what he was being accused of, and we all accepted it as true, especially as there appeared to be so many girls coming forward with their stories. And while this resulted in his banishment from the Internet for 6 months, where he turned into a major recluse, I found it interesting how he never chose to defend himself. 

Not once. 

That is, until now.

  Last night the first video for a long long time was released on Alex Day's channel, where Alex spends 30 minutes talking about what happened and basically explaining his side of the story. I was able to sit through the whole video, and came away with a lot more of the respect I lost for him when the news first broke. Whether he was in the right or wrong, it takes a lot of courage to post a video like that, especially when you know many of the people who see it are still angry and want your head on a silver platter. I think it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes in life, some may seen bigger than others, but at the end of the day, Alex can't change the past. What's done is done, and it angers me to see people still holding it against them. I'm sorry Internet, I wasn't aware his relationships were any of your business, or how poorly he conducted himself in them affected you in any way. 

  Let's get realistic here and put down the pitchforks you angry little tweenagers. Most of you, just like myself, don't know Alex personally, therefore how can you sit there and judge a man you don't even know. Who died and made you all judge and jury? When I watch this video, what I see is a broken man with a lot of regret, the last thing he needs is another wave of negative criticism, just for speaking his mind.

  Said video is in the link below if you haven't seen it yet and would very much like too, so long as your minds are all open enough to listen to what he has to say without judging.

Alex Day- The Past

No Fishing Here

  It has come to my attention that at approximately 00.03am on the 26/06/14 the fish you could have previously found on my page have regrettably passed away, due to some annoying individual deciding that the widget no longer had a place on this website. In protest I am writing an angry blog post with the full knowledge that nobody relevant will see it but oh well, it makes me feel better. May I offer my full condolences for my dreams and aspirations for the future, as they cannot be allowed to continue without my little fishies present to admire them all 

Key-gate

  It's official, I have lost my house keys. I never knew it was possible for a key to grow legs and walk off but that's apparently what mine has done, never mind that it somehow made it into the house with me last night when I stumbled in half asleep  after a busy shift at work followed by a tedious mile and a half walk home from the train station.

  Dear key, if you're reading this, please come home. I promise mummy's not mad at you, she just wants to talk, and more importantly get back into the house.

An Ode To Second Year

  I've not really blogged much in the past 12 months, it's not because I don't like you all anymore, I promise I do. It's just I had this thing during my second year that I didn't quite have in my first, and that's an active social life. 

  I don't know what it is but it's almost like people have just decided this year that it's ok to hang out with Nina, as opposed to last year when I was living a hermit existence, feeding off of Pot Noodles, Netflix and Assassins Creed. A year on I personally don't feel much has changed since then, I still live my life on Netflix and games, and let's be honest, as a student during exam season I temporarily disabled my ability to use a hob, a skill I am still struggling to reset now that I'm back home. 

  If you were to ask my family they would tell you in my first week back I burnt curry, burnt rice, undercooked pasta and it was only thanks to my sisters quick thinking that the garlic bread didn't share the fate of the previous nights curry! That cost me a good 30 minutes of non stop scrubbing the charcoal off the bottom of the pan until it was all silver and shiny again.

How To Lose Your Assignment

Hello ladies and gentlemen, tonight I am going to show you how to lose your super important assignment. Are you comfortable? Very well, let's begin.

Step 1) Enrol at university, not just any uni mind. Pick one renowned for its incompetence and inability to care about anything.

Step 2) Pick a subject where essay writing is key to everything you do. 

Step 3) Ensure the tutor marking your assignment is a complete fool. THIS IS ESSENTIAL

Step 4) Finish your assignment at the university library on one of the readily unavailable Stone Age computers they supply.

Step 5) Correctly hand in your assignment on time (or a day before as I did) and walk away knowing you did the best you could and there's nothing more you can do but wait.

Step 6) Be informed by your module coordinater, the only one who seems to actually care what is going on that your assignment has unfortunately gone for a walk and the office are unable to locate it. This will therefore result in a fail being flagged up in your results being nothing was submitted, when you know full well that was a lie. 

Step 7) Lose all faith in humanity, drop out of university and take up a full time position at McDonald's where you will spend the rest of your uneducated existence flipping burgers for minimum wage.

An Ode To A Sock

  Today I discovered my mother had thrown away one of my favourite socks. I was utterly heartbroken upon discovering this, especially as I was at work and therefore unable to save goodbye to my faithful companion. To make matters worse, my mum failed to throw away the matching pair, meaning I was send to work with 2 odd socks that had been haphazardly thrown together the night before. Now to me this makes no sense, as everybody knows socks need to be in twos, otherwise one gets lonely without the other, it's common sense really. So now my surviving sock is faced with spending the remainder of its life at the bottom of my drawer lonely and heartbroken at the sudden loss of its companion.

  Really, sometimes I wonder how my mum can sleep at night.

People Who FB Their Feelings

  Whenever I log on to Facebook why is it I'm always greeted by people venting or having minor breakdowns in the public eye. If you are one of these people then I don't know how to break it to you gently that I actually really don't care that your boyfriend dumped you or your goldfish died or you're having a self identity crisis. no I don't want to hear your life story or the woes and sorrows you think you're facing, if I wanted to know I would ask rather than having to sit at my laptop wading through so much self pity even my mousepad gets depressed. 

  I mean, you do realise fb is not your therapist right? If you really have angst then please just get a blog/text a friend/just keep it to yourself. Don't go around spreading your drama out for the whole world to see, it's like, have a bit of dignity and self-respect, try and keep something back. You want to vent? Then do what I do and put it here where people can choose to come and read it if they really want, don't inflict it on people that don't want it.

  Not that I'm trying to be insensitive, i get that everyone has issues from time to time and everyone deserves a shoulder to cry on, I know I definitely do. But to put it out there constantly it's just like you're being a bit desperate begging for my attention. And don't get me wrong, I really do make time for friends who are going through stuff who want to talk, it's not a dig at them,, rather it's a dig at the people who just spam my newsfeed with a minute by minute update of the cesspit of emotions they've got themselves in. So just take it easy ok?

The Camel Called and Wants His Toe Back

  You get some weird sorts on the buses here in Birmingham, and Sunday afternoon was no exception. Having taken a pleasant stroll around Cannon hill Park after church with my boyfriend, we got on the bus to head back to town, and during that journey we were affronted by a rather morbidly obese woman waddling onto the bus with her child. Now normally this doesn't bother me, but this woman committed so many crimes against nature I had to note them all down. 

  First and foremost, she was SO FAT she could not fit into ANY SEAT on the bus. Yeah, that's right, so instead she had to stand with her rear end facing my unfortunate boyfriend the whole journey. Which brings me to point 2, this woman was wearing leggings. 

Skin. Tight. Leggings.

  You could see the knicker line so prominently I felt embarrassed for her. Women out there who are of the more than curvy persuasion, please please PLEASE for the sake of the rest of us, dress for your size. None of us should have to sit through that. And if you must wear leggings then at least wear a thong. If y'all don't have one may I please direct you to your nearest Boux Avenue/La Senza/the Primark where you probably picked out those trashy leggings in the first place. You would be doing the world a favour. Now I know I'm a bit of a big woman myself, but you don't see me going around dressed in crop tops, mini skirts and sheer leggings now do you?

  All these faux pas lead to a rather unfortunate case of the worst camel toe I have ever seen...

FRONT AND BACK

  Honey I'm sorry but I was not even aware this was physically possible for it to happen at the back. A thong wouldn't have saved you, what you need is to hit that treadmill and get a better fitting pair of jeans/a binbag for those tree trunks of yours. Now I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I wouldn't have laid into you if you hadn't been standing there with this evil look on your face wondering why the poor woman and child you were facing were in such a hurry to move seats, you were practically thrusting your crotch into her face. The view from behind was bad enough, I can only imagine the horrors she was experiencing from the front! I staggered off that bus so mentally scarred those images will haunt me for a long while before they begin to subside.