Work, Work, Work. All I Do Is Work.

Nearly 8 weeks ago now I returned home from uni to start back at work for the summer, and truth be told although work's had its ups and downs at times, I've thoroughly enjoyed my job, to the extent I'm always happy picking up shifts for people who can't do theirs or working overtime etc. 

But the truth is, I need a holiday. I mean, it's been 8 weeks and I've not actually had any chance to relax and unwind. I've loved being kept busy and all that, but there comes a time where I just need some time to myself, I don't even have to go anywhere, just having that time to enjoy being in a sloth like state would be much appreciated.

So I wandered into the managers office the other day with a face unlike Spongebob here and went "Hey Souz (my manager), how about we play a little game called Giving Nina A Saturday Off", on the very off chance she would actually say yes. What I actually got was a lot of laughter and an "Are you all right?", which in McDonalds is code for "you must be joking". Naturally I laughed it off, grabbed my till and traipsed out to the front counter where I was greeted by a lovely queue of customers waiting to be fed. 

"Great" I muttered. "Looks like the holiday will have to wait. Hi, can I help?"  

Bloggers Break

Apologies folks, my hours at work are making it hard for me to post and stuff so I've been forced to take a break from my online stuff, but I shall endeavour to get up to speed in the next few days, so bear with me :) !

Talking With Tony- Episode 2

Looks like it's that time of the week already folks, and on time as promised. That's right, it's Talking With Tony, with the one and only Mr Tony Cole! As you can see, rather than pose with fruit this week, he's opted to look rather nervously at a cactus before attempting to eat it. Why he wants to eat a cactus, I don't know but what he does in his own time is strictly up to him*. 

So, what has he been rambling on about this week you ask? Well, after reading my little piece last week the next day he provided me with some brilliant material in the form of a little something he dubbed as "McChat up lines". 

Here's a little example... So there I was, serving a customer, blissfully unaware of what was going on around me, when suddenly I heard a voice behind me go "oops my bad" in a purring and seductive tone. Next thing I know a hand is lightly running down my leg before reaching all the way down to pick up the well placed ketchup that had taken a tumble from his hands mere seconds before. "What on earth are you doing Tony?"I enquired, a little gobsmacked at his unabashedness. "McChatting you up of course" he replied before giving me a cheeky wink and sauntering off to cause mischief elsewhere.

Other than that, I am very proud to announce Tony now has his own blog. "Where" I hear you cry? Well scroll on down this page and you'll find I've already linked to it, but for all you lazy people out there, here it is again ;) http://tonyjohncole.blogspot.co.uk

* Just to cover my back here, in no way does this blog condone attempting to eat a cactus under any circumstances. Don't try this at home kids ;)

Working The Late Shift

Hmm... So... I admit I struggled to think of something to write about today. I sat down this morning with the intention of writing one only to end up drawing a blank. However, this evening I'm sitting down exhausted from a late shift at work, but my day today has provided more than enough material to make up a blog post. 




Where to start? Well, for one, being Friday and the end of the week it's always super busy at work. On the upside though, my best friend there always works the weekends so banter is never short. The day itself was fairly uneventful, and by the time half 10 had rolled around I was given the go ahead to go home. So there I was, utterly exhausted and looking forward to a ride home from my mum who'd text me earlier promising to pick me up.


But oh no, when she found out I had finished before 11 she was all like "oh get a bus, you'll be fine", as if, you know, all the thugs and drunks in Stevenage only come out to play from 11pm onwards and never before. And she wonders why I came through the door in a bad mood and absolutely refused to talk to her. Thanks mum, thanks a lot. 

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Term has officially ended for me today with my last exam over and done with, and Saturday I shall clear out of Birmingham and head back home to sunny Hertfordshire, which I'm really looking forward too. What I'm not looking forward to though it having to say goodbye to so many people. Tonight I had to bid farewell to a very good friend who I met back in September and was only here in Birmingham for about 10 months, and even though it's not been that long since we met, I've become very attached, so as you can imagine it got a bit emotional saying goodbye, not knowing when we'll next see each other. While I admit I did tear up a bit, I had to keep telling myself I have a long summer ahead of me, and the likelihood we catch up over then is pretty high, but still, I will miss her so much come September when I return to Birmingham and realise I don't have our frequent coffee dates to look forward too during the term. This is sad times indeed... so this gif seemed fairly relatable as it was raining a bit as we said goodbye, but once I reach this stage of crying it'll be time to get out the ice cream methinks. 

To Kindle Or Not To Kindle

  Now I've always been a little dubious about these Kindle's, so you can understand the hesitation in my voice when my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and I replied "a Kindle". The thing is, I much prefer reading a book I can hold and feel the pages as they turn etc, but this may just be my old fashionedness talking. It was pointed out to me though that Kindle's can be lifesavers when travelling and stuff, and as a uni student struggling for space in a small room with an ever expanding wardrobe it became clear to me this year that as much as i love my darling books there is no way I can bring them all back with me in September, which is sad times. Fortunately this Kindle is here to save the day, i've only had it a few hours and my eyes have already been opened. Who would have thought a tiny little thing could carry hundreds of books and still weigh less than the lightest of paperbacks. And as if this couldn't get any better, pretty much all the books I read are serious classics, meaning they're all free online anyway. Life just gets better and better, defo the best birthday present I ever asked for!

It's My Birthday!! (Kind Of)

  Well this is a bit of a belated post. Basically, it was my birthday on Thursday, and I celebrated my reaching the 20 year milestone in typical understated Nina-like fashion, by staying in bed for half of it and eating my feelings the other half. All in all, a pretty good day, although slightly marred by the absence of my family for the first time ever, which was kinda sad times. However, today certainly made up for it when my mum turned up in Birmingham to take me out for lunch and give me the best birthday present ever, aka a Kindle :D ! (More about that in my next post). Even though I'm going home next weekend it was so good to see her and really made my week, and for once even the weather seemed to agree :) .

  The only depressing thing about turning 20 though is I can no longer use the excuse of being a teenager whenever I throw a strop or feel a bit immature, suddenly everybody expects me to behave and have all these responsibilities and it's just like "umm.... No". Just because I've hit 20 doesn't mean I changed overnight, I'm still my fun-loving, troublesome, laid back and immature self, and at least for the time being that shall not change. What has changed though is my smiling. On my birthday I found myself cracking a smile as the sun shone through my window so I grabbed my camera and snapped it as evidence that it really is possible ;) 

 

Tumblr Takeover

For any blogger living under a rock today Yahoo announced it was taking over Tumblr in a $1 billion deal. Aside from the shock that Yahoo even has that much money to burn, the reaction from Tumblrites including myself has pretty much been one of outrage ever since I logged on this morning. And forgetting for the moment that Yahoo even slated us in their own article as being whiny brats, what I hate most about it is I found Tumblr to be a safe space I can flee to, away from Facebook and Twitter etc. In a way this relates to my previous post on my issues on opening up and trusting others, as I use Tumblr to hide away from people I know so they can't see how I really feel, and in a way Tumblr has become my little protective bubble from the outside world as I can vent and express myself so freely on there. There are no censors on Tumblr, in a way it is the only place online where we can say whatever we want and nobody can judge us or tell us we're wrong. But with all the media exposure this takeover is bringing as well as Yahoos ghastly plan to make it more family friendly, it's going to become harder to express myself as more and more people will join who don't get what Tumblr is all about, and that scares me a lot. The people who read my Tumblr are like me, we all go through the same stuff and we support each other, and the last thing any of us want is to have others who don't see it that way to come along and make us feel self conscious. If this is the case and everything I'm worrying about happens, then that means this blog will become my last safe space, and if that happens I will still never be able to be as open here as I ever was on Tumblr, as I know a lot of people read my blog, including a lot of the people I have on Facebook etc... 

Nina Does Emotional

This post should come with a little health warning and apologies in advance. It's a lot more personal and stuff, so if you don't want to hear about my personal stuff I would suggest you skip along to the next post.

Ok, so up until now all my posts have been quite light hearted and witty and stuff, but this is my blog after all, and the whole reason I started a blog in the first place all those years ago was because it was a place where I could store my feelings and speak my mind openly without caring what others thought about it, I guess it's a little harder to do that nowadays with all the people I know who read this so I apologise in advance for showcasing the inner workings on my mind. And for those of you who ask why I've chosen to put this put there so openly, well usually I reserve stuff like this for my Tumblr, but for this I felt it was easier to write here.

As a person in general I tend to keep to myself a lot. I'm not saying I avoid social interaction because that's untrue, I love being sociable, there's nothing better than catching up with friends. What I do have an issue with though is sharing my personal life and emotions. It has been said many times that I rarely smile or I'm hard to read, and it's all true. I don't like to give anything away because I'm afraid it would be seen as a sign of weakness. As you can imagine it has caused a few problems with friends who don't know if they're coming or going with me, or they don't know what I'm about, and that inevitably brings up trust issues, as how can you trust somebody if you don't know who they really are. I don't really know how long I've done it for, but for most people I put on this persona of being cold, hard, unapproachable and unfeeling. To me it's a way to mask my emotion, so even though it's all there underneath, I prefer to keep control and never to let it show.  

But obviously everyone needs an emotional outlet, even somebody dubbed the "ice maiden". You know that one friend we all have who basically acts as our therapist or conscience whether we need it or not, and we can tell them absolutely anything and know we can trust them? Well I have one of those, I met her 4/5 years ago and she is an absolutely sweetheart. In fact, she's probably one of the nicest friends I have and to be honest you don't get much higher praise from me than that. But lovely or not, to this day she remains one of the few people who can give me a slap on the wrist or sit me down for a brutally honest talk and say it how it is and completely get away with it. It's actually quite funny really because even when I start talking to her just intending to have a light hearted conversation with her, we always end up getting deep and meaningful no matter what.

Well anyway, I took a break from studying yesterday and met my friend in town for a bit. As always the talk inevitably turned deeply serious after a while, and while I usually shy away from it, for her I do try and go with it, even if it means mumbling my responses while avoiding her gaze. I have this thing about looking people in the eye when talking seriously, I just can't do it. They do say the eyes are the way to look into the soul and I prefer guarding mine with a high barbed wire fence with guard dogs patrolling the perimeter. But back to the story, so eventually we hit on the trust issue along with a number of other things, and it really got me thinking. I wasn't able to say everything I wanted to say to her face, partly because I was too embarrassed and partly because when I'm put on the spot I tend to forget most of what I want to say, so I'm using this post as my chance to start saying the stuff I wanted to say to her.

I think that talk yesterday was probably the most open I ever had with her. It isn't the first time she's given me much to think about, but yesterday really opened my eyes to see how much I needed to sort my stuff out and face up to this whole issue of trust and openness and honesty etc. It didn't surprise me when she said she found it hard to see what I was about because even with the stuff I tell her I do leave bits out or hold back (my best friend says I have the ability of saying everything and nothing at the same time) because I'm afraid of saying everything and then having to entrust that person with my secret when I don't even trust myself with it. What did surprise me though is how understanding she was, even though I knew she wanted answers and was getting a little impatient. It made me realise how unfair and selfish I was being by messing her around the way I was, and her saying she would try and help me if she could after all she'd already done for me just broke right through my emotional defences. Whenever I leave our conversations I always think long and hard, but this time it felt like so much more than that. I openly admit it was the first time I came home and cried after talking to her, and a tear or 2 may have even be shed during (also a first for her) but I will always maintain that was hay fever to anyone who saw. The hardest thing was when she said there were things about me that I never spoke of that I ought to, and she was left baffled as to why I never speak about them. I wanted nothing more than to tell her exactly why but instead I stayed quiet and said nothing. The truth is, certain topics to me are taboo, it's not that I don't think of them often because I do, there are some days when I think about them so often it hurts, and that's why I never speak of them. There's truth in what people say about the truth hurting, and sometimes the pain is so bad it can feel like a knife being twisted in my gut, so I rationalise it's better to bury my head in the sand and pretend all is well.

As well as this we also spent a long time talking about forgiveness. A big reason why I don't like telling people stuff about me is because I'm quite shallow and vain, and I really care about what others think of me, even if I give off the impression I couldn't care less. I can just predict the things people would say to me or how much they'd judge me if they knew what I was really all about, yet my friend repeatedly tried to get through to me that as a Christian if I couldn't get ahold of the concept of forgiveness, I must be suffering from something I think she called a "heart problem". And that also made me think a lot, because obviously Christians are all about forgiveness, because they have a God who has already forgiven them for every wrong thing they've ever done, and that's pretty amazing, so why am I so concerned about them judging me? It's ironic in a way that it's Christians I worry about judging me the most, I feel like there's this expectation I have to live up to, and failing to do so will make them think I'm weak. It's actually so stupid of me to think that when I look at it like that way. After all, it is always my Christian friends who have been there to pick me up when I've fallen in the past. 

So, I know I've rambled throughout this whole post, but I think what I'm trying to say is I realise now that pretending something never happened or having a persona isn't ever the answer to my problems. If anything it's an easy way to alienate people and make it hard for them to trust me if they don't know the real me. I've done it for so long now though that whenever I think about stripping it all back to emotional me I panic and assume somebody will use it against me and try to hurt me, but that's a mentality I need to snap out of fast. As for my friend, well even though I trust her without question I'm afraid of letting her down. When I met her she was a stranger who I entrusted with the things I didn't want anyone to know about me, the things I am quite frankly ashamed of, and because she was a stranger I felt I could be so open, yet now I've got to know her I have so much love and respect for her, and while that's great it also means telling her stuff has got that little bit harder as I don't want to disappoint her like I know I do, or anyone else for that matter. But now that I think about it, that's pretty stupid. If anything I could be doing more harm than good by doing that, and it probably hurts her more knowing I'm giving her half the story than being open and honest with her. I think eventually I'll be able to tell her everything she wants to know rather than just bits and pieces, but I get the feeling it's going to take some time to build up to that and I can only hope she has the patience of a saint in the meantime. So, I have resolved that I need to make a big effort to sort out these issues of mine and be completely honest with people, no matter how scared I am of the outcome.

I guess that kinda brings this post to a close, in my head it feels like all my thoughts have been jumbled up, but writing it all out here may not have given me any illuminating conclusions but it makes more sense seeing it laid out like this. Part of me hopes I have the courage to show my friend this, but as I said in the beginning, this is the place where all my emotions go, I guess it's a little like the Room of Requirement in Hogwarts. The place where all things are hidden.

Healthy Living Will Be the Death of Me

Hi. I'm Nina, and I'm a recovering pizzaholic. 

Ok so that should be takeawayholic but oh well. Truth is, it has now been 2 weeks since my last take out, if we forget about the one I had last night due to having no food in the house, so technically my last needless take out. While I admit I've seen a big improvement such as getting up in the mornings and the weight loss, I am genuinely sick of what I've had to switch it for. Right now what with exams I am practically living off the dreaded green stuff (salad), Ryvita and noodles along with various vegetables. If you were to open my cupboards you'd probably find enough in there to start up a greengrocers. I actually feel like a rabbit eating this stuff. It's been so long since I had meat I've forgotten how good it tastes, and as for bread, I'm getting cravings just thinking about it. So it's official guys, vegetarianism is not for me!

Bank Holiday Adventure

Excuse my taking so long to post, what with all this awesome stuff going on at the moment and this stupid lab report I'm still trying to finish off my days have been fairly hectic. But today I took a day out from all that and headed over to the Ashridge forest estate with my church for a bank holiday day out full of sunshine and nature and fun times! For those of you who don't know Ashridge it's a National Trust place situated in a lovely bit of countryside in Hertfordshire, not far from where I live and it's absolutely beautiful. It was so nice to do something different and forget all the stress that comes with studying and living in the big city, I do love Birmingham but I'm a country girl at heart! So anyway, here are some photos I took from the top of the monument I climbed up in the park, it was nerve-wracking climbing up all 172 of those narrow spiral steps but the view was so worth it, you could see for miles and miles, even the London skyline was visible in the distance. Other than that my time there was spent walking through the forest and sunbathing in the meadow, I was hoping to get tanned but sadly I could not stay still long enough to achieve much on that front. I can safely say I am not looking forward to going back to Birmingham!

Ok so i nicked this last one off a friends Facebook, but I didn't actually manage to get a decent photo of everyone, although you can see me getting snap happy with my phone in the bottom left ;)  

Blogger Network Initiation

You know that warm fuzzy feeling of acceptance you get when a group accepts you as one of their own and you feel all happy and smiley? Well that was me this morning. There I was, bracing myself for a morning full of 10am lecture when suddenly a wild email appears and tells me that the EtailPR bloggers network has accepted my application to be an official blogger, yippee! For those of you who havn't noticed if you scroll down my page you will see I now even have a nice shiny new badge on the right hand side officially recognising me as an approved blogger. What does this mean I hear you ask? Well from time to time I will be writing posts for companies who send me sample products to try out and write about, it's a pretty sweet deal. They send me free stuff and I have to write about it, put it up here and job done, everyone's happy. So for those of you who read my blog make sure to check here regularly for new stuff and be sure to check out the things I'm writing about :) . On a side note, I wonder if my sister knows I expect her to be the one modelling any clothes I get asked to write about? Yeah, I should probably mention it to her... 

Spring Fashion, Nina (New Look) style!

This post is actually going to be a bit different compared to what I've been doing up till now, as for once I'm actually going to go all fashion blogger on you all and talk clothes. Anybody who knows me can tell you I adore New Look as a brand, they are by far my shop of choice when I want to do a bit of clothes shopping, but I must say this years Spring collection has really outdone itself, I'm loving all the floral prints and crochet, it has a real vintage-style ever so slightly hippy chic vibe about it that I love so much, so I thought I'd share with you all some of what I've got so far, as well as things I fully intend to go back and buy

 Strapless floral maxi dress - £22.99

I actually came across this quite by accident, I went in looking for some shorts and happened upon this little beauty. Usually I can't work a maxi, being only 5ft 3, but this one is just the right size, like it was designed for someone my height. Not only that but for curvier sizes such as myself the floral print really   flatters and shows off my curves in all the right places

Cream circle crochet tassle top- £22.99

This top is probably one of my best investments this season so far, it's fairly versatile in that it can be worn with jeans or shorts, and it manages to be loose without looking baggy, it sits on my frame perfectly. The tassles at the bottom and on the sleeves give it a gypsy vibe that I just find enchanting, and it really shows crochet isn't just reserved for placemats and cushions!

Black floral belted skater skirt- £12.99

What I love about this skirt is not just the spring/summery vibe it gives off but the fact that it is such a versatile and essential piece in my wardrobe. It can be dressed up for a night out or down for a day out shopping and drinking coffee, and I've found it looks lovely whether you're wearing heels or flats. The belt around the waist gives the illusion of making the wearer look slimmer, and overall I prefer to wear this with an all black or plain colour ensemble to let the skirt do the talking.

Wide Fit cream crochet low wedge peeptoe shoes-  £17.99

These have swiftly become my must have item of the season, increasingly I find myself spending more and more time in these shoes, the crochet detail is a bit different compared to other shoes out there making them stand out. Incredibly comfy yet stylish, while the slight heel is brilliant for those of us small people who want a bit more height and to still be able to walk properly in them. Out of everything I've got so far I would recommend these to anyone reading this as an absolute staple for your spring/summer wardrobe this year! 

Death By Pizza

I never thought I'd actually say this, but I'm sick of pizza. If I had it my way I would not have to even look at one for a very long time. Why the sudden change of heart I hear you all ask? Well let me break it down for you all. This week my student loan for the term came through, and you know that blissful period at the beginning of a new term where you can swagger around flashing the cash until the rent gets paid? Well that's where I am right now, and I'm ashamed to say I've ordered take out 4 times this week, and I've only been back for 5 days, oh the humanity. So I think it's fair to say after this week I will be back to living off air, because you know, that's the harsh reality of student life. Is it too soon to go back home already? 

Illness and Instragram

No, the 2 are in no way related, but they both begin with "I" so I thought why not put them in the same post. My time here at home is fast coming to an end, tomorrow I pack up my things and head on back to Birmingham, which I'm kinda dreading but that's another post entirely. As a special treat, for my last week home I have been ill with the most awful cold, it was so bad I lost my voice at work and had people there in stitches with my inability to talk, thanks a lot guys much appreciated. Just to prove how ill I was, my mum bought take out pizza one night... I wasn't even hungry when I looked at it. I know, I'm shocked too. However, while lying on my sickbed I found a new way to pass the time was to finally cave and sign up for Instagram, and oh wow it's only been 2 days and I already love it so much! My mum isn't too impressed, apparently i've found one more way to become too attached to my phone, but I argue I have photos that need sharing with the world. But yeah, do follow me on Instagram at tiggerlily2305 . The more the merrier right?

Assembling The Minions

As I said yesterday, today was dedicated to my darling minions (college buddies) who I have not actually seen since before the summer. We had an amazing time, ate a ton of pizza and ice cream, played the obligatory several games of Sopio (all of which I lost) and then left Pizza Hut for Wetherspoons feeling like we'd accomplished something worthwhile. Seeing everybody again was amazing and I'm already missing them so much, it was a much overdue catch up! It was a little sad though because when we were all telling each other our news it was clear that we've all gone our separate ways and started doing our own thing, and after spending 2 years in each other pockets it's strange knowing that we're all moving on with our lives. Everything's changed and none of us are the same people we were when we left for uni, but today was so much like the good old days when we didn't have a care in the world and had no responsibilities etc. Even though college wasn't that long ago we've kinda progressed to adulthood so quickly it's scary, so today was a one off where we could all cut loose and behave like children again. That aside, today was the best day in forever and I can't wait to see them all again in the summer :) !

College Reunion

Tomorrow I'm meeting up with my old college friends for the first time since we all went our separate ways and headed off into the big wide world. It's the first time we'll all be reunited since May, and I am massively excited to catch up with everyone again. Of course, we've decided to meet up over pizza and Sopio, any self respecting uni students should be, this is going to be so much fun. There's no way I can sleep tonight I'm so ready for tomorrow to come already! ASSEMBLE THE MINIONS!!

The Wonderful World Of Work

I've been at my new job for a week now. Everything hurts. I knew it would be intense but nothing could prepare me to have every muscle and bone in my body ache from running around for 9 hours at a stretch. On the upside though, I'm pretty sure this is a foolproof way to lose weight, so I think it's safe for me to go out tomorrow for pizza with college buddies. Moaning aside, even though I complain a lot and when I get home I feel like curling up and hibernating till summer, I actually enjoy my job and knowing there's money in it for me, getting my first paycheck is going to be like getting to the end of the rainbow and finding a huge pot of gold there, and if it doesn't feel as beautiful as the image in my head then I will make it so it is.

Welcome to the World of Work

As I mentioned in my last post I went and found me a part time job for when I come back from uni for the holidays. I've only done 1 shift so far but after 9 hours I left that place literally dragging myself out the door and onto my bus before tumbling through my front door. Why couldn't somebody tell me work was never going to be fun, or better still, why did nobody talk me out of getting a job in the first place. If only I weren't a poor student, then I could afford to stay home and catch up on Criminal Minds and Blue Bloods 24/7. It's a hard life. At least I'm not back in till Friday, I can go into hibernation mode till then...

Duty Calls

Today I start my new job. It's nothing much exciting, I can't say I'm thrilled to be flipping burgers or whatever I'll be doing at McDonalds, but a job's a job right? Speaking of work, I need to be there in less than 2 hours now, yet I'm being my normal chilled back self and lying in bed with my trusty Lady Grey and my Macbook, which for future reference I shall refer to as Eowyn (you know, LOTR reference). It's less effort than getting up and getting ready. But I should probably go and do stuff, so I shall update you all later with my introduction into the world of work. Oh aren't you all such lucky people. In the meantime, think of and pity me while going about your mundane lives, in the knowledge that whatever you're doing in way more enjoyable.